Ohh how fun to have comments! Especially from a personal hero of mine, Elina from Healthy and Sane. I have followed her blog for a while, and have loved hearing her views on intuitive eating vs. dieting. I should probably clear up a few things before going any further, in regards to my personal history with weight and dieting.
I have, for as long as I can remember, struggled with weight. I can remember feeling horrendously fat in high school, and I look back on a size 4 me and am astonished. It was not reality, it was false perception. It's fair to say that I had a slight eating disorder by the time I was a senior in high school, however, nothing drastic. I was taken to my first Weight Watchers meeting at the age of 10, and have always struggled with the fact that - I love food, yet hate the weight. I have had an obsessive dieting/bingeing history, and all of the guilt that goes along with it.
When I lost weight 10 years ago, I strived to change everything. I went to therapy, dove into the real issues behind weight gain, self esteem, feelings of self worthless-ness, and I continued my therapy for about 8 years. I'm aware of the reasons of my weight gain - I'm not justifying it, but I'm aware of why it has happened, what my triggers were, and what lead me to the place I"m at now. Without boring you with the details, let's just say I'm the definition of a stress eater - and the last 6 years have been the epitome of stress. There have been failed relationships (including 1 moving out boyfriend), job changes, severe financial changes, starting a company, family changes, friendship changes. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just acknowledging, to myself, what has happened.
I love the intuitive eating factor, and I have no intention of giving up food and wine. They are 2 of my favorite things! I adore going out to eat, drinking good wine and going out for drinks with friends is very important to me, and I am not saying, even a little, that these things will not take place. I'm neither depressed nor lonely, nor feeling those self worthless feelings that haunted me 10 years ago. Rather, I'm in a very good place. I love my life, I'm proud of my company, I have the greatest friends and family in the world. I will say that when I lost weight the first time, I was a bit obsessive, there was not a ton of balance. I will also say that, though I am extremelly close with my family, my entire family is a bit obsessive with weight, nutrition, exercise, etc. This is not necessarily unhealthy, but I can attribute why I grew up with the somewhat dysfunctional relationship I have with food to the fact that, to this day, I can't sit down for a meal with my family without some discussion of calories, exercise, etc.
The reality is this - I need to lose weight. I am obese, there aare risk factors, and I like my life too much to fall victim to my own circumstance. That said, I'm giving myself a realistic goal for a reason - I am not looking to lose 5 lbs/week by sticking to a strict 1200 calorie/day plan, and giving up everything that I love. I plan on following weight watchers, however, at my pace. That said - I think back to something I heard the author of Eat, Pray, Love say, "There is a difference between eating amazing pasta and pizza in Italy, and standing over the kitchen sink shoving potato chips in your mouth." It is the latter that I need to work on.
At first, I wasn't sure if this would be just for me, or something I'd actually try to get readers for. I'm told that I'm funny and a good writer, so I think I'll try to share, however, I'll remain anonymous, as I plan on sharing my weight and personal feelings.
So - a bit more about me:
I live in the Boston area.
I am happily single and unsure if I ever want to marry and have kids.
I started a consulting business last year and work from home, but frequently take people out.
I am an animal lover - especially cats and frogs.
I go to Healthworks - and I LOVE my gym.
I'm impatient. I wish I wasn't, but I am, and it's my biggest hurdle professionally.
I tend to work quickly, not be detail oriented, and as such, there may be typos on here. Am sorry!
I love to go walking and hiking.
I will always support a small business over a chain, so you will rarely see me posting about eating at chain - anything. This goes for coffee shops, fast food, casual dining, book stores, grocery stores - anything.
I always try to eat local and, for the most part, organic. I frequent farmers markets and would prefer to support a local farm over anything else.
I'm funny with meat - I didn't eat red meat for about 15 years, I did again in my 20's, and this year stopped. I'm not saying I'll never eat red meat again, but I need to know that it's grass fed and local. I don't like pork products, and I'm funny with chicken - I'll eat it, but it has to be cooked perfectly, all white meat, and I'd prefer local and free range. I will, however, eat hot dogs at Fenway. This is my one exception.
I hate cilantro with a passion - ditto green peppers, cooked carrots, olives, and melon (but not watermelon).
I love go out for food and drinks.
I am a die hard Red Sox fan.
I HATE people who are mean, disrepectful to other living beings including animals, and people who don't respect the environment.
I am a far left liberal - I only put that out there because if politics ever comes up here, I want to be honest right away where I stand. I respect everyone's views but will disagree with you if you are conservative on social issues.
I try to commit random acts of kindness on a daily basis - including anonymously buying lunch for people, paying people's tolls, giving 50-100% tips, making donations - I enjoy it, and I believe that if you put good energy out there, it comes back to you.
I volunteer often - to remain anonymous, I'm not going to disclose where, but I've been involved with one particular organization for about 5 years, and I am active in a couple of political organizations as well.
I love to read - fiction historical fiction, non-fiction, biographies, mysteries - anything but science fiction and twilight, really! I have way too many favorites to share, but am very happy to give suggestions if asked.
I have many guilty TV pleasures - reality TV, stupid TV, lifetime movies included.
I'm REALLY hoping to fulfill my goal of running a half marathon in October. If I don't, I'm not going to beat myself up over it, but I'm going to try.
I grew up Jewish and I'm cultural but not religious.
My favorite food related blogs are:
http://carrotsncake.com/
http://www.healthyandsane.com/about/ (and I'm REALLY honored the Elina took the time to comment here, she's a hero of mine in the blog world)
http://www.crunchesforcupcakes.com/
So - thank you so much for your comments, and I hope that you enjoy my perspective on things. It will be honest, that much I can promise. Am not sure what else I can promise, but honesty will be here.
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