Binge confession

So - yesterday, after I blogged, I did something I can honestly say I haven't done in a while.  I binged.  Meh.  I was feeling lonely and sad - it being 4th of July, not having anything to do (unless I wanted to travel), the gym was closed, it was too hot to go walking, and I have no car to head to the beach.  Wah.  So - I ate.  Bowl after bowl of cheerios.  Sounds weird, right?  There was some ice cream involved.  Lots of fruit.  Some cool whip.  Okay a lot.  But the fact is - it's not about what I ate, it's the behavior.  I knew I wasn't hungry.  I knew I was feeding something other than hunger.  I was feeding loneliness and sadness.  I suppose the good thing was my awareness of it.  The bad thing was that I did it!  One feeling I did have, truly, was that I wished the gym was open.  Had the gym been open, I would have hit it up hard for a great workout.  I did try to do some exercise at home to replace my feelings, I buried myself in a fabulous book, I watched episodes of Teen Mom to feel better about myself (don't judge!) - but - alas - the bowls of Cheerios won.

So - it's a new day, I recognize it, I am owning it.  I counted all of the points, I was accurate and honest, and it could have been french fries and not Cheerios.  So - here are the positive points of yesterday, that I will recognize so I can move on:

The food I binged on wasn't that bad.
I honestly wished I could have worked out.
I accounted for all of the points.
I recognize the behavior.
This is the first time I have done that in a while.
At one point, I chewed gum to stop.
I did not drink any wine, though I wanted to.
I did not eat dinner out, though I wanted to.

Here's what I should have done:

Journaled about my feelings (I thought of that......but cheerios was more appealing)
Stepped away from the kitchen - taken my book upstairs to read.
Eaten carrots - crunchy, yet healthy.
Gone out - called a friend.
Drank tea.
Eaten cucumbers.

So - it's over - I own it, and I'm admitting it to the blog world, for whatever that's worth.  Today is a new day!