Progress? For reals?

I'm...gulp.....I'm......hesitating to say this.....I...think I'm making some real progress.  Wow. 

Well first things first - I lost 1 pounds this week.  Meh - whatever.  I'm more excited about the other forms of progress.

I've felt stressed - and recognized the urge to eat - and saw it for what it was.  The urge to eat.  I went for a walk.

I've felt disappointed and sad...and recognized the urge to eat my brains out and drink until I fall down....and saw it for what it was.  I watched some TV and emailed a friend.

I've stopped thinking of exercise as a chore for weight related reasons and started thinking of it as something nice to do for my body.  I've worked out almost every day, and not felt at all guilty on the days that I didn't.

I've eaten for joy - and been okay with it.  I've enjoyed it for what it was - a conscious desicion, and pleasure.  But mostly, I've eaten fuel foods, and I've been fine with that.

But the biggest way that I can tell I've changed - or am on the way?  I.  Haven't.  Binged.  Not once have I eaten to the point of being gross.  Not once have I ate and regretted it.  Not once have I shamefully emptied the garbage because I can't stand to look at the wrappers in there.  I haven't felt guilt, therefore, I haven't felt that, "well I've fucked up, may as well start over next week" feeling.

However, this weekend is my birthday.  Tomorrow.  Am having my family up to celebrate with me, and am planning on going out for a yummy dinner tomorrow night in the N. End. I'll eat.  And drink.  For joy.  Am also going to take myself out for fried clams next week.  My 1x/year outing.

So - we'll see if I can make it through this binge free.  Am REALLY going to try.